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WHAT 
MAKES 
A 
FRIEND? 



Uniform with this Volume 
1m Feiendship's Name 



/TT HAT MAKES A FRIEND? 

VXA. DEFINITIONS ANt) OPIN- 
IONS FROM VARIOUS SOURCES 
COLLECTED AND COMPILED 
BY VOLNEY STREAMER 



OUT, ah, no words can quite disclose 
What makes a friend ! 



NEW YORK 

BRENTANO'S 

MCMVII 



rtf 



^ 



\ 



WHAT MAKES A FRIEND? X 

First Edition: set up, electrotyped, and printed in Chicago, October, 
| 1892. . . lt 

Second Edition: enlarged and printed in New York, June, 1894. 

Third Edition: published in Boston, June, 1895. Reprinted July, 1896. 

Fifth Edition: again enlarged, published in New York, July, 1899. 

Sixth Edition: published, April, 1901. 

Seventh Edition: published, January, 1902. 

Eighth Edition: published, January, 1903. 

Ninth Edition: enlarged, published, March, 1904. 

Tenth Edition: enlarged, reset and entirely revised; published, February, 
190Z. 



LIBRARY of C0N6RESS 
Two Copies Received 

MAh fS 1907 

1 Gopyrteht Entry 

GLASS A XXc.,N6Y 
COPY B. 






copyright, 1892, 1899, 1904, 1907 
By Volney Streamer 



Thanks are due Messrs. Small, Maynard & Co. for permission to use an 

extract by Richard Hovey; also to other publishers and authors for like 

courtesy. The compiler regrets being unable to locate some of the 

selections printed as Unknown. 



TO MY FRIEND 



"What is between us two, we know; 
Shake hands and let the whole world ge.' 



HH, friend, let us be true 
To one another ! For the world, which 
seems 
To lie before us like a land of dreams, 
So various, so beautiful, so new, 
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light, 
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain, 
And we are here as on a darkling plain 
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and 

flight, 
Where ignorant armies clash by night. 

— Matthew Arnold. 



a slender acquaintance with the world 
must convince every man that actions, 
not words, are the true criterion of the attach- 
ment of friends; and that the most liberal 
professions of good-will are very far from 

being the surest marks of it. 

— Washington. 



"VJo distance of place or lapse of time can 

lessen the friendship of those who are 

thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth. 

— Soufhey. 



A little peaceful home 

Bounds all my wants and wishes; add 
to this 
My book and friend, and this is happiness. 

— Francesco di Rioja. 



Briendship, like love, is destroyed by long 
absence, though it may be increased 
by short intermissions. What we have missed 
long enough to want it, we value more when 
it is regained; but that which has been lost 
till it is forgotten, will be found at last with 
little gladness, and with still less if a substitute 

has supplied the place. 

— Johnson. 



T7 'en as a traveler, meeting with the shade 

Of some o'erhanging tree, awhile reposes 

Then leaves its shelter to pursue his way, 

So men meet friends, then part with them 

forever. 

— Hitopadcsa. 



"Phe attachments of mere mirth are but the 
shadows of that true friendship, of which 
the sincere affections of the heart are the 
substance. 

— Robert Burton. 



Of all felicities, the most charming is that 
of a firm and gentle friendship. It 
sweetens all our cares, dispels our sorrows, 
and counsels us in all extremities. Nay, if 
there were no other comfort in it than the 
bare exercise of so generous a virtue, even 
for that single reason a man would not be 
without it; it is a sovereign antidote against 
all calamities — even against the fear of death 

itself. 

— Seneca. 



t is chance that makes brothers, but hearts 
that make friends. 

— Unknown. 



10 



Hre we ever truly read, save by the one' 
that loves us best? Love is blind, the 
phrase runs. Nay, I would rather say, love 
sees as God sees, and with infinite wisdom has , 

infinite pardon. I 

— Ouida. 



'"Fhese things do not require to be spoken; 

there is something in the hand grip, and 

the look in the eye that makes you know your 

man. 

— C. Haddon Chambers. 



"T would go up to the gates of hell with a 

friend, 

Through thick and thin." 

The other said, as he bit off a concha's end, 

"I would go in." 

— John Ernest McCann. 



11 



Bor friendship maketh indeed a fair day 
in the affections, from storm and 
tempests, but it maketh day-light in the under- 
standing out of darkness and confusion of 
thoughts ; neither is this to be understood only 
of faithful counsel which a man receiveth from 
his friends ; but before you come to that, certain 
it is, that whosoever hath his mind fraught with 
many thoughts, his wits and understanding do 
clarify and break up in the communicating 
and discoursing with another: he loseth his 
thoughts more easily; he marshalleth them 
more orderly; he seeth how they look when 
they are turned into words; finally he waxeth 
wiser than himself; and that, more by an hour's 
discourse, than by a day's meditation. 

— Bacon. 



"D eal friendship, like all best things, costs ; 
but also like them, it pays. 

— Unknown. 



12 



*S\ o word is oftener on the lips of men than 

JLC "friendship," and indeed no thought is 

more familiar to their aspirations. All men 

are dreaming of it, and its drama, which is 

always a tragedy, is enacted daily. It is the 

secret of the universe. 

— Thoreau. 



Tt is a sad thing that there comes a moment 
when misery unknots friendships. There 
were two friends; there are two passers-by! 

— Hugo. 



"\1Tho in want a hollow friend doth try, 
Directly seasons him his enemy. 

— Shakspere, 



Friendship — to be two in one — 

Let the canting liar pack! 
Well I know, when I am gone, 

How she mouths behind my back. 

— Tennyson. 

13 



I often find myself going back to Darwin's 
saying about the duration of a man's 
friendships being one of the best measures of 
his worth. 

— Anne Thackeray Ritchie. 



'T* hat two men may be real friends, they must 
have opposite opinions, similar principles, 
and different loves and hatreds. 

— Chateaubriand. 



Tt is a good thing to be rich, and a good thing 

to be strong, but it is a better thing to be 

beloved of many friends. 

— Euripides. 



14 



Briendship is enjoyed proportionately as 
it is desired, and only grows up, is 
nourished, and improves by enjoyment, as 
being spiritual, and the soul growing more 
perfect by use. 

— Montaigne. 



, T^IS pity 

That wishing well had not a body in't, 
Which might be felt ; that we, the poorer born, 
Whose baser stars do shut us up in wishes, 
Might with effects of them follow our friends. 

— Shakspere. 



Friendship is to be purchased only by friend- 
ship. A man may have authority over 
others, but he can never have their heart but 

by giving his own. 

— Thomas Wilson. 



15 



Gime keeps no measure when true friends 
are parted, 
No record day by day; 
The sands move not for those who, loyal- 
hearted, 
Friendship's firm laws obey. 

— Meredith Nicholson. 



"Pjevotion to a friend does not consist in 
doing everything for him, but simply 
that which is agreeable, and of service to him, 
and let it only be revealed by accident. 

— Unknown. 



A true test of friendship : to sit or walk with 

a friend for an hour in perfect silence 

without wearying of one another's company. 

— Mrs. Mulock Craik. 



16 



Chink of those twenty years of Napoleon, 
from 1790 to 1 810. How he beat and 
buffeted the world about like a tennis ball ; how 
he hated without loving and destroyed without 
constructing; how he smote with breathless 
terror every nation of the earth, and yet could 
not fasten to him with hooks enduring a single 

friend who would outlive calamity! 

— Unknown. 



U e who serves and seeks for gain, 

And follows but for form, 

Will pack when it begins to rain, 

And leave thee in the storm. 

— Shakspere. 



T have never believed much in friendship; it 
is a tie which binds the weak. Strong char- 
acters break it early. 

—Willis Steell. 



17 



"pi o\v were Friendship possible? In mutual 
A- I devotedness to the Good and True; 
otherwise impossible; except as Armed Neu- 
trality, or hollow Commercial League. A man, 
be the Heavens ever praised, is sufficient for 
himself; yet were ten men, united in Love, 
capable of being and doing what ten thousand 
singly would fail in. Infinite is the help man 

can yield to man. 

— Carlyle. 



*T* he first foundation of friendship is not the 

power of conferring benefits, but the 

equality with which they are received, and may 

be returned. 

— Junius. 



Tt is more disgraceful to distrust than to be 

deceived by our friends. 

— Rochefoucauld. 



18 



YpX ERE a ^ ^y * on d endeavors vain 
(Jul, To chase away the sufferer's smart, 
Still hover near, lest absence pain 
His lonely heart. 

For friendship's tones have kindlier power 

Than odorous fruit, or nectared bowl, 
To soothe, in sorrow's languid hour, 
The sinking soul. 



— Sadi. 



Tf a man does not make new acquaintances as 

he advances through life, he will soon find 

himself left alone. A man, sir, should keep 

his friendship in constant repair. 

— Johnson. 



19 



OULLY was the first who observed that 
friendship improves happiness and 
abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and 
dividing of our grief; a thought in which he 
hath been followed by all the essayers upon 
friendship that have written since his time. 

— Addison. 



A STAR 

Which moves not 'mid the moving heav- 
ens alone, 
A smile amid dark frowns — a gentle tone 
Among rude voices, a beloved light, 

A solitude, a refuge, a delight. 

-Shelley. 



r et me tell you, when the pot no longer boils, 
and a man's fortune declines, farewell 
friends. 

— Petronius. 



20 



Birst of all things for friendship there 
must be that delightful, indefinable state 
called feeling at ease with your companion, — 
the one man, the one woman out of a multitude 
who interests you, who meets your thoughts 

and tastes. 

— Julia Duhring. 



"Friendship based solely upon gratitude is 
like a photograph ; with time it fades. 

— Carmen Sylva. 



A nd what is friendship but a name, 

A charm that lulls to sleep ; 
A shade that follows wealth or fame, 
But leaves the wretch to weep ? 

— Goldsmith. 



21 



Ohere is a common belief, which perhaps 
is just, that there is not so much friend- 
ship in the world as there used to be. Various 
causes have been assigned for this — that men 
are less heroic, more querulous, more selfish, 
more domestic. In my opinion the real cause 
is want of time. And it must be remarked that 
to keep up friendship, it is not sufficient to have 
spare time now and then; but you require an 
amount of certain and continuous leisure. 

— Arthur Helps. 



P very man will be thy friend 

Whilst thou hast wherewith to spend; 
But if store of crowns be scant, 
No man will supply thy want. 

— Shakspere. 



22 



Gwo people who are friends make them- 
selves responsible for each other. If 
I had a friend, and he went to the bad, and I 
met him in rags and poverty and disgrace, and 
if it ruined me to own him and help him, I 
should have to do it. If two men are really 
friends, nothing can come between them. 

— David Christie Murray. 



Friendship above all ties does bind the heart, 
And faith in friendship is the noblest part. 

— Lord Orrery. 



Tf you would know how rare a thing a true 
friend is, let me tell you that to be a true 
friend a man must be perfectly honest. 

— Henry W. Shaw. 



23 



a friend is a rare book, of which but one 
copy is made. We read a page of it 
every day, till some woman snatches it from 
our hands, who sometimes peruses it, but more 
frequently tears it. 

— Unknown. 



]\Jo love in any relation of life can be at its 
best if the element of friendship be 
lacking, and no love can transcend, in its pos- 
sibilities of noble and ennobling exaltation, a 

love that is pure friendship. 

— H. C. Trumbull. 



"T*he difficulty is not so great to die for a 
friend, as to find a friend worth dying for. 

— Home. 



24 



V- ike as the shadows of the twilight hour 

J. J Differ from those at morn, 

So doth a good man's friendship, in its power, 

From that of evil born ; 
One small at first still stronger, deeper grows, 

One shortens at the close. 

— Bhartrihari. 



Tt is essential to friendship that there be no 
labor to pass for more than we are, no 
effort, no anxiety to hide. If anything be con- 
cealed, the constant intercourse of friends will 
discover it, and one discovery will produce 
others. The idea that the heart has one secret 
fold extinguishes affection. 

— William Ellery Channing. 



"That friendship only is, indeed genuine, 
when two friends, without speaking a 
word to each other, can nevertheless find hap- 
piness in being together. 

— Georg Ebers. 



25 



Ghere are evergreen men and women in 
the world, praise be to God ! — not many 
of them, but a few. They are not the showy 
folk; they are not the clever, attractive folk. 
(Nature is an old-fashioned shopkeeper: she 
never puts her best goods in the window.) 
They are only the quiet, strong folk; they are 
stronger than the world, stronger than life or 
death, stronger than Fate. The storms of life 
sweep over them, and the rains beat down upon 
them, and the biting frosts creep round them; 
but the winds and the rains and the frosts pass 
away, and they are still standing, green and 
straight. They love the sunshine of life in their 
undemonstrative way — its pleasures, its joys. 
But calamity cannot bow them, sorrow and 
affliction bring not despair to their serene faces, 
only a little tightening of the lips; the sun of 
our prosperity makes the green of their friend- 
ship no brighter, the frost of our adversity kills 
not the leaves of their affection. 

— Jerome K. Jerome. 



26 



a faithful and true friend is a living 
treasure, inestimable in possession, and 
deeply to be lamented when gone. Nothing is 
more common than to talk of a friend; nothing 
more difficult than to find one; nothing more 
rare than to improve by one as we ought. 

He who has made the acquisition of a judi- 
cious and sympathizing friend, may be said to 
have doubled his mental resources. 

—Robert Hall. 



T^he anxiety of some people to make new 
friends is so intense that they never have 

old ones. 

— Unknown. 



27 



Others will kiss you while your mouth is 
red; 
Beauty is brief. Of all guests who come 
When the lamps shine on flowers, and wine, 
and bread, 
In time of famine who will spare a crumb? 
Therefore, oh, next to God I pray you, keep 
Yourself as your own friend, the tried, the 
true, 
Sit your own watch — others will surely sleep, 
Weep your own tears, ask none to die with 

you. 

—Sarah M. B. Piatt. 



'T^here is no folly equal to that of throwing 
away friendship in a world where friend- 
ship is so rare. 

— Bulwer-Lytton . 



P^riendship is but a slow-awaking dream, 
troubled at best 

-N. P. Willis. 



28 



Hn austere love springs up between men 
who have tugged at the same oar to- 
gether, and are yoked by custom and use and 
the intimacies of toil. This is a good love, and, 
since it allows, and even encourages, strife, and 
the most brutal sincerity, does not die, but in- 
creases, and is proof against any absence and 

evil conduct. 

— Rudyard Kipling. 



A friendship will be young after the lapse 

of half a century; a passion is old at the 

end of three months. 

— Madame Szvetchine. 



TTitherto doth love on fortune tend; 

For who not needs shall never lack a 



friend. 



— Shakspere. 



AXTho ceases to be a friend, never was a 

VV friend. 

— Unknown. 
29 



Briendship is apt to creep away into some 
corner of the temple on whose shrine 
love has descended. This mild affection is but 
a twinkling taper that will burn steadily on, 
perhaps unseen, amid the dazzling glory of 
love's supernatural lamp, to be found shining 
benignantly when the lamp is shattered. 

— M. E. Braddon. 



HP here is in friendship something of all 

relations, and something above them all. 

It is the golden thread that ties the hearts of 

all the world. 

— John Evelyn. 



"P riendship is the highest degree of perfec- 
tion in society. 

— Montaigne. 



30 



Briendship is a certain rapport between 
two minds during one or more phases 
of their existence, and the perfection of it is 
quite as dependent upon what is not in the 
two minds as upon their positive acquirements 

and possessions. 

— Hamerton. 



T have scarce a married friend of my acquaint- 
ance, upon whose firm faith I can rely, 
whose friendship did not commence after the 
period of his marriage. With some limitations, 
wives can endure that; but that the good man 
should have dared to enter into a solemn league 
of friendship in which they were not consulted, 
though it happened before they knew him, — 
before they that are now man and wife ever 

met, — this is intolerable to them. 

— Lamb. 



31 



Ohis matter of friendship is often regarded 
slightingly as a mere accessory of life, 
a happy chance if one falls into it, but not as 
entering into the substance of life. No mis- 
take can be greater. It is, as Emerson says, 
"Not a thing of glass threads or frost-work, 

but the solidest thing we know." 

— T. T. Munger. 



Cmall service is true service while it lasts; 

Of friends, however humble, scorn not one ; 
The daisy, by the shadow that it casts, 

Protects the lingering dewdrop from the 

sun. 

— Wordsworth. 



32 



Briendship is the supreme tie. It is 
stronger even than the bonds of blood, 
as we see in the case of Jonathan, who stood 
by his friend David even against his own 
father. When two hearts have become one in 
the mystical union of friendship, that relation- 
ship should mean more to them than any matter 
of circumstance, fortune, or individual benefit. 

— Unknown. 



T shun a friend who pronounces my actions 
to be good though they are bad. I like a 
simple friend, who holds my faults like a look- 
ing-glass before my face. 

—Ghozali. 



33 



Hfter a man has passed forty years of age 
he makes no more friends. He has 
passed the period when it is possible for him 
to open his heart and confide its best secrets 
to anybody who did not possess them before; 
but there is no period, if he lives to be one hun- 
dred, when, if the sun still shines for him as 
it did at twenty, his heart cannot open to a man 
whose heart is also open to the rays of the god 
of day, that he cannot look out and find a man 
who can sympathize with his success, who can 
grieve with him in his sorrows, who can give 
him a helping hand — not in a pecuniary or 
gross sense — but a helping hand if he is blue 
or tired, and who can always be relied upon, 
either at the festive board or away from it, to 
say, "Old man, your hand. God help you; I 

will." 

— Chauncey M. Depew. 



34 



If citizens be friends they have no need of 
justice, but though they be just, they 
need friendship or love also; indeed the com- 
pletest realization of justice seems to be the 

realization of friendship or love also. 

— Aristotle. 



"J" he most I can do for my friend is simply 

to be his friend. I have no wealth to 

bestow on him. If he knows that I am happy 

in loving him, he will want no other reward. 

Is not friendship divine in this? 

— Thoreau. 



T^here is nothing that is meritorious but 
virtue and friendship, and indeed friend- 
ship itself is only a part of virtue. 

—Pope. 



35 



^[ heik Schubli, taken sick was borne one 
JO day, 

Unto the hospital. A host the way 
Behind him thronged. "Who are you?" Schubli 

cried. 
"We are your friends," the multitude replied. 
Sheik Schubli threw a stone at them ; they fled. 
"Come back, ye false pretenders !" then he said; 
"A friend is one who, ranked among his foes, 
By him he loves, and stoned, and beat with 

blows, 
Will still remain as friendly as before, 
And to his friendship only add the more." 

— Alger, from Jamce. 



Tt may be a cold, clammy thing to say, but 

those that treat friendship the same as any 

other selfishness seem to get the most out of it. 

— E. W. Howe. 



36 



Ohe books for young people say a great 
deal about the selection of friends; it 
is because they really have nothing to say about 
friends. They mean associates and confidants 
merely. Friendship takes place between those 
who have an affinity for one another, and is a 
perfectly natural and inevitable result. No 

professions nor advances will avail. 

— Thoreau. 



17 riendship that flows from the heart can- 
not be frozen by adversity, as the water 
that flows from the spring cannot congeal in 

winter. 

— /. Fcnhnore Cooper. 



T7 riend that sticketh closer than a brother — 
eight years. Dashed bit of a slip of a girl 
— eight weeks ! And — where's your friend ? 

— Rudyard Kipling. 



37 



/7TE inherit our relatives and our features 
Uu(. and may not escape them; but we can 
select our clothing and our friends, and let us 
be careful that both fit us. 

— Volncy Streamer. 



^Poo late we learn — a man must hold his 

friend 
Unjudged, accepted, faultless to the end. 

—John Boyle O'Reilly. 



Tn pure friendship there is a sensation of 
felicity which only the well-bred can attain. 

— LaBruyere. 



A friend is a fellow who knows all about you, 

but likes you. 

— A Ten-year-old Schoolboy. 



38 



I have always looked upon it as the worst 
condition of man's destiny that persons 
are so often torn asunder just as they become 

happy in each other's society. 

— Boswell. 



A generous friendship no cold medium 
knows, 
Burns with one love, with one resentment glows. 

— Pope. 



T7 riendship receives its crown in marriage 

when love is mingled with admiration and 

respect. 

— John McLandburgh. 



riend is a word of Royal tone. 
Friend is a Poem all alone. 

— A Persian Poet. 



39 



Briendship is like a debt of honor: the 
moment it is talked of it loses its real 
name and assumes the more ungrateful form 
of obligation. From hence we find that those 
who regularly undertake to cultivate friendship 
find ingratitude generally repays their en- 
deavors. 

— Goldsmith. 



T^ew men have the natural strength to honour 

a friend's success without envy. . . . 

I well know that mirror of friendship, shadow 

of a shade. 

— Aischylus. 



A thorough-going friend that understands 

a hint is worth a million. 

— Scott. 



40 



Oimes and places new we know, 
Faces fresh and seasons strange, 
But the friends of long ago 

Do not change. 

— Andrew Lang. 



A s people grow older friends and associates 

of youth are apt to be more appreciated, 

and old relations are oftentimes resumed that 

have been suffered to languish for many years. 

These links with the past form a chain that, 
next to the ties of blood, forms one of the 
strongest relations of social life. 

Although pessimists declare that friendship 
is a myth and what are called intimates are 
people who consort together for amusement or 
self-interest, the very fact that there is this 
feeling of especial kindness for old-time asso- 
ciates proves that there is such a thing as 
sentiment independent of worldly considera- 
tions. 

— Unknown. 



41 



a man's love is the measure of his fitness 
for good or bad company here or else- 
where. Men are tattooed with their special 
beliefs, like so many South Sea Islanders; but 
a real human heart with divine love in it, beats 
with the same glow under all patterns of all 

earth's thousand tribes. 

—0. IV. Holmes. 



"TTe is my friend," I said, — 

"Be patient !" Overhead 
The skies were drear and dim; 
And lo ! the thought of him 
Smiled on my heart — and then 
The sun shone out again! 

— James Whitcomb Riley. 



F 



riendship survives death better than ab- 
sence. 

— /. Pettes Senn. 



42 



Briexdship is good, a strong stick; but 
when the hour comes to lean hard it 
gives. In the day of their bitterest need all 

souls are alone. 

— Olive Schreiner. 



vy hen two friends part, they should lock up 
each other's secrets and exchange the 
keys. The truly noble mind has no resent- 
ments. 

— Unknown. 



Comething in ourselves warns us at once of 
any change of feeling in a friend. 

— Sarah Grand. 



TV!" ever to have encountered a constancy equal 

-Dorothea Lummis. 



43 



IN youth every chance-met acquaintance 
is hailed as a friend. But as one grows 
older, and the real nature of friendship becomes 
better understood, fewer and fewer wear for 
one the golden name of friend. For the man 
or woman who has reached the middle life with 
half a dozen friends — real friends who will 
bear all the tests of friendship — is rarely for- 
tunate. One or two such friends are all that 
most of us can hope to win, and we may count 

ourselves rich with them. 

— Unknown. 



pOMMUNiON with the good is friendship's 
root, 

That dieth not until our death ; 
And on the boughs hang ever golden fruit: — 

And this is friendship, the world saith. 



Ourselves we doubt, our hearts we hardly know, 
We lean for guidance on a friend; 

Ay, on a righteous man we'd fain bestow 
Our faith, and follow to the end. 

— Bhartrihari. 

44 



Ghe crafty thief your cash-box may invade, 
Your father's house in ashes may be 
laid ; 
Your debtor may a bankrupt prove ; your field, 
The sower's hopes belied, no harvest yield; 
Your steward be swindled by a harlot's guile; 
Your merchandise become the ocean's spoil. 
What thou hast given to friends, and that 

alone, 
Defies misfortune, and is still thy own. 

— Martial. 



""Piie art of friendship is not in effacing self, 

so that there is nothing for a friend to 

love: such selfishness is, in the last analysis, 

selfishness. It is not the colorless, characterless 

persons, how ever well meaning they may be, 

and how ever much they sacrifice themselves 

for us, who really help us most. The best 

friend is the one who endeavors to be his best 

self for our sake, and to provoke us to our 

best. This is a higher, harder task than that 

of surrendering one's own will for a friend's 

sake. 

— Unknown. 



45 



*7TT ho can afford to go through life without 
\XX especial friends on whom he may be- 
stow especial care and love? When old age 
comes, that man is poor indeed — in heart — 
compared with what he might have been, if 
he has loved no life-long friend. Select your 
friends without regard to what they may per- 
form for you. That is not friendship which 
forever seeks itself ; but that which gives itself 
for others. And having given once my love to 
any man, I never will recall it. Hearts that 
once were warmed and welded may not be 
safely severed. When the whirlwind of disaster 
comes and sweeps his worldly goods away, I 
still will be his friend. When the brand and 
blaze of scandal come and ruin reputation, I 
will remain his friend ; and if he meet disaster 
worse than these, his fair name ruined, his 
good soul soiled by sin, I still will be — and all 
the more — his friend! If in that moment of 
his moral overthrow I prove that I am not a 
friend indeed, what can I say if he do never 
rise again, when nothing less than love had 
power, perchance, to rescue him? 

— Perry Marshall. 



46 



Dife hath no blessing like an earnest 
friend; than treasured wealth more 
precious, than the power of monarchs, and the 

people's loud applause. 

— Euripides. 



A common friendship — who talks of a com- 
mon friendship ? There is no such thing 
in the world. On earth no word is more 

sublime. 

— Henry Drummond. 



One cannot be a friend without having one. 

—A. S. Hardy. 



47 



riends — Old friends — 

One sees how it ends. 

A woman looks 

Or a man tells lies, 

And the pleasant brooks 

And the quiet skies 

Enchant no more 

As they did before; 

And so it ends 

With friends. 

—IV. E. Henley. 



/^nly he who is unwilling to love without 
being loved, is likely to feel that there is 
no such thing as friendship in the world. 

— H. C. Trumbull. 



"IXT hen friendship goes with love it must 

play second fiddle. 

— German Proverb. 



48 



Che man who will share his purse with you 
in the days of poverty and distress, and 
like the good Samaritan, be surety for your 
support to the landlord, you may admit to your 
confidence, incorporate into the very core of 
your heart, and call him friend; misfortunes 
cannot shake him from you; a prison will not 

conceal you from his sight. 

— J. Bartlett. 

Cay not that friendship is only ideal: 

That truth and devotion are blessings un- 
known ; 

For he who believes every heart is unreal, 

Has something unsound at the core of his 

own. 

— Eliza Cook. 

AIT hen your pocket's empty, when your heart 

is sad, 
When fellow-men distrust you, your name and 

credit bad; 
The man or woman who will then stand by 

you and defend, 
Must surely be without a doubt a true and 

noble friend. 

— Unknown. 
49 



yr*r e can never replace a friend. When a 
\$Ji man is fortunate enough to have sev- 
eral, he finds they are all different. No one 

has a double in friendship. 

— Schiller. 



/^\ne faithful friend is enough; it is even 
much to meet with one, yet we cannot 
for the sake of others have too many friends. 

— La Bruyere. 



A faithful friend is the true image of the 

JrX Deity. 

— Napoleon. 



50 



Ghou mayest be sure that he that will in 
private tell thee of thy faults, is thy 
friend, for he adventures thy dislike, and doth 
hazard thy hatred ; there are few men that can 
endure it, every man for the most part delight- 
ing in self-praise, which is one of the most 
universal follies that bewitcheth mankind. 

— Sir Walter Raleigh. 



""Po friends and eke to foes true kindness 
show; 
No kindly heart unkindly deeds will do; 
Harshness will alienate a bosom friend, 
And kindness reconcile a deadly foe. 

— Omar Khayyam. 



HT he love of man to woman is a thing com- 
mon and of course, and at first partakes 
more of instinct and passion than of choice; 
but true friendship between man and man is 

infinite and immortal. 

— Plato. 



51 



*pi o\v many of us can say of our most inti- 
X- f mate alter ego, leaving alone friends of 
the outer circle, that he is the man we should 
have chosen, as the net result after adding up 
all the points in human nature that we love, 
and principles we ourselves hold, and sub- 
tracting all that we hate? The man is really 
somebody we got to know by mere physical 
juxtaposition long maintained, and was taken 
into our confidence, and even heart, as a make- 
shift. 

— Thomas Hardy. 



HP he vital air of friendship is composed of 
confidence. Friendship perishes in pro- 
portion as this air diminishes. 

-Joseph Roux. 



52 



Chy friend will come to thee unsought, 
With nothing can his love be bought, 
His soul thine own will know at sight, 
With him thy heart can speak outright. 
Greet him nobly, love him well, 
Show him where your best thoughts dwell, 
Trust him greatly and for aye; 
A true friend comes but once your way. 

— Unknown. 



The supreme happiness of life is the con- 
viction of being loved for yourself, or, 
more correctly, being loved in spite of yourself. 

— Hugo. 



riendship is a word the very sight of which 
in print makes the heart warm. 

— Augustine Birrell. 



53 



yrr^ are all travellers in what John Bunyan 

UuL ca ^ s the wilderness of this world, and 

the best that we find in our travels is an honest 

friend. He is a fortunate voyager who finds 

many. We travel, indeed, to find them. They 

are the end and the reward of life. They keep 

us worthy of ourselves ; and when we are alone, 

we are only nearer to the absent. 

— Stevenson. 



Out, what is life itself ? A dream, 

A pageant of the things that seem — 
Youth, fiery manhood, weary age, 
The passers o'er a painted stage — 
Our very world a whirling sphere, 
And shall we ask for friendship here? 

— Wilton. 



54 



I wonder if there is anything in this world 
as beautiful as good, strong friendship 
between two men ? They don't go round doing 
the molly coddle act ; they don't kiss each other 
every time they meet; in fact, they never do 
kiss each other, unless one is lying cold in 
death; but they are sure one knows the other 
is always going to stand by him, and they feel 
that, no matter what happens, each can rely 

on the other. 

— Unknown. 



\\Te talk of choosing our friends, but friends 

are self-elected. 

— Emerson. 



55 



Go moisten with one's tears the other's brow, 
If needs be. 
To turn one's back on pleasure, maybe life, 
To take and hold all troubles, burdens, strife, 

If needs be. 
To bind oneself with an unwritten vow, 
If needs be. 

To ever yield a sympathetic ear, 

If needs be. 
To laugh when laughter onward flies, 
To laugh, though for us mirth but cries, 

If needs be. 
To bravely face, and show no cowardly fear, 

If needs be. 

To be stone deaf when censure's in the air, 

If needs be. 
To lose one's wit and give no apt reply, 
To seem a fool, rather than draw a sigh, 

If needs be. 
To yield in all thy dealings double share, 

If needs be. 

— Charlotte Mansfield. 



56 



«\G usceptibility is the foundation of at- 
JO tachment; but it is strength of feeling 
that ripens it into a genial and durable friend- 
ship. 

It is a curious circumstance when persons 
past forty before they were at all acquainted 
form together a very close intimacy of friend- 
ship. For grafts of old wood to take, there 
must be a wonderful congeniality between the 

trees. 

— Richard Whately. 



TXTer einen Freund auf Erden hat, oh! der 

halte ihn fest! Denn die Welt ist so 

arm fur ein warm fiihlend Herz. 

— /. Lusen. 



57 



mANY kinds of fruit grow upon the tree of 
life, but none so sweet as friendship; 
as with the orange tree its blossoms and fruit 
appear at the same time, full of refreshment for 

sense and for soul. 

— Lucy Larcom. 



*T*o contract ties of friendship with any one, 

is to contract friendship with his virtue; 

there ought not to be any other motive in 

friendship. 

— Confucius. 



A/Tark the difference between intimacy and 

friendship. 

— Erwin E. Wood. 



58 



Hlways leave my friend something more 
to desire of me. 
Be useful to my friend, as far as he permits, 
and no further. 

Be much occupied with my own affairs, and 
little, very little, with those of my friend. 

Leave my friend always at liberty to think 
and act for himself, especially in matters of 

little importance. 

— Gold Dust. 



HP here are no rules for friendship. It must 

be left to itself. We cannot force it any 

more than love. 

—Haslitt. 



59 



Ghink of the importance of friendship in 
the education of men. It will make a 
man honest; it will make him a hero; it will 
make him a saint. It is the state of the just 
dealing with the just, the magnanimous with 
the magnanimous, the sincere with the sincere, 

man with man. 

— Thoreau. 



People who always receive you with great 

cordiality rarely care for you. Your true 

friends make you a partaker of their humors. 

— Manley H. Pike. 



A man's reputation is what his friends say 

about him. His character is what his 

enemies say about him. 

— Unknown. 



60 



v^3 EJOiCE, and men will seek you; 

J-Y, Grieve, and they turn and go, 

They want full measure of all your pleasure, 

But they do not need your woe. 
Be glad, and your friends are many; 

Be sad, and you lose them all, — 
There are none to decline your nectar'd wine, 

But alone you must drink life's gall. 

— Ella Wheeler Wilcox. 



Tt is easy to find a lover and to retain a friend : 
what is difficult is to find the friend and to 
retain the lover. 

— Levis. 



T aughter is not a bad beginning for a 

friendship, and it is the best ending for 

one. 

— Oscar Wilde. 



61 



*S\ friendship can survive the gift of gold. 
J- C The generous can indeed forget that they 
have given, but the grateful can never forget 
that they have received. No! The man who 
brightens with a smile when I approach him, 
whose hand grasps mine with cordiality, whose 
good opinion is a boon and support to me, 
whose talk, whose very presence, gladdens me, 
he is my friend. He gives me joy. He gives! 
This other, with his purse, can never give. He 
lays a load of obligation on me that I can never 
get rid of. This gold turns my friend into my 
benefactor. And oh, ye gods ! protect me from 
a benefactor as you would protect me from a 
foe! 

— William Smith. 



A 



true friend is forever a friend. 

— George MacDomld. 



62 



Ohere are many moments in friendship, as 
in love, when silence is beyond words. 
The faults of our friend may be clear to us, 
but it is well to seem to shut our eyes to them. 
Friendship is usually treated by the majority 
of mankind as a tough and everlasting thing 
which will survive all manner of bad treatment. 
But this is an exceedingly great and foolish 
error ; it may die in an hour of a single unwise 
word; its conditions of existence are that it 
should be dealt with delicately and tenderly, 
being as it is a sensitive plant and not a road- 
side thistle. We must not expect our friend 

to be above humanity. 

— Ouida. 



t takes us half our lives to learn who our 
friends are, and the other half to keep them. 

— Unknown. 



63 



IN the hour of distress and misery the eye 
of every mortal turns to friendship; in 
the hour of gladness and conviviality, what is 
our want? It is friendship. When the heart 
overflows with gratitude, or with any other 
sweet and sacred sentiment, what is the word 
to which it would give utterance? A friend. 

— Landor. 

Tf your friend has got a heart 

There is something fine in him ; 
Cast away his darker part, — 

Cling to what's divine in him. 

— Unknown. 

T7 riendship is the marriage of the soul. 

— Voltaire. 



64 



Che tide of friendship does not rise high 
on the banks of perfection. Amiable 
weaknesses and shortcomings are the food of 
love. It is from the roughnesses and imperfect 
breaks in a man that you are able to lay hold 
of him. My friend is not perfect — no more 
am I — and so we suit each other admirably. 

— Alexander Smith. 



'"True friendship cannot be among many. 
For since our faculties are of a finite 
energy, 'tis impossible our love can be very 
intense when divided among many. No, the 
rays must be contracted to make them burn. 

— John Norris. 



65 



^ryiTH the comrade heart 
\\X For a moment's play, 
And the comrade heart 

For a heavier day 
And the comrade heart 

Forever and aye. 

For the joy of wine 

Is not for long : 

And the joy of song 
Is a dream of shine; 

But the comrade heart 

Shall outlast art 
And a woman's love 
The fame thereof. 

— Richard Hovey. 



66 



Gsteem of great powers, or amiable quali- 
ties newly discovered, may embroider 
a day or week, but a friendship of twenty 
years is interwoven with the texture of life. 
A friend may be found and lost, but an old 
friend never can be found, and nature has pro- 
vided that he cannot easily be lost. 

— Johnson. 



De able for thine enemy 

Rather in power than use, and keep thy 

friend 

Under thine own life's key. 

— Shakspere. 



T^rue love and fidelity are no more to be 

estranged by ill than falsehood and hol- 

low-heartedness can be conciliated by good 

usage. 

— Lamb. 



67 



aN old friendship is like an old piece of 
china. It is precious only just so long 
as it is perfect. Once it is broken, no matter 
how cleverly you mend it, it is good for nothing 
but to put on a shelf in a corner where it won't 

be too closely looked at. 

— Amelia B. Edwards. 



Tf we would build on a sure foundation in 
friendship, we must love our friends for 
their sakes rather than for our own. 

— Charlotte Bronte. 



C atire is a greater enemy to friendship than 

is anger. 

—Attwell. 



68 



IN real life, help is given out of friendship, 
or it is not valued; it is received from 
the hand of friendship, or it is resented. We 
are all too proud to take a naked gift ; we must 
seem to pay it, if ir nothing else, then with 

the delights of our society. 

— Stevenson. 



T^riendship is an education. It draws the 
friend out of himself and all that is selfish 
and ignoble in him and leads him to life's higher 
levels of altruism and sacrifice. Many a man 
has been saved from a life of frivolity and 
emptiness to a career of noble service by find- 
ing at a critical hour the right kind of friend. 

— Unknown. 



riends slowly won are long held. 

— Unknown. 



69 



*Y~\ on't flatter yourself that friendship au- 

A-/ thorizes you to say disagreeable things 

to your intimates. The nearer you come into 

relation with a person, the more necessary do 

tact and courtesy become. Except in cases of 

necessity, which are rare, leave your friend to 

learn unpleasant truths from his enemies ; they 

are ready enough to tell them. 

— 0. W. Holmes. 



T7 riendship imposes no yoke on its object, 
has not the feelings of a patron, expects 
no compliance with its opinions, no sacrifices 
of personal independence; but is jealous for the 
rights, dignity, and moral independence of its 
object, and takes pleasure in the free judgment 
and elevated spirit of a friend, only expecting 
these to be tempered with kindness. 

— William Ellery Charming. 



A friend is the image of one's self reflected 
in the mirror of mutual esteem and 

affection. 

— Unknown. 

70 



Grue, it is most painful not to meet the 
kindness and affection you feel you have 
deserved, and have a right to expect from 
others; but it is a mistake to complain of it, 
for it is no use; you cannot extort friendship 

with a cocked pistol. 

— Sidney Smith. 



"NT ever refuse any advance of friendship, for 
if nine out of ten bring you nothing, one 
alone may repay you. Everything is of service 
to one who knows how to use his tools. 

— Madame de Tencin. 



13 eason is the torch of friendship, judgment 
its guide, tenderness its aliment. 

— De Bonald. 



71 



n 



ot understood. How trifles often change 

us! 

The thoughtless sentence or the fancied 

slight 

Destroy long years of friendship and estrange 

us, 

And on our souls there falls a freezing blight, 

Not understood. 

— Thomas Bracken. 



'T'ake envy out of a character and it leaves 
great possibilities for friendship. 

— Elizabeth B. Custer. 



TSJ ever yet 



Was noble man but made ignoble talk. 
He makes no friend who never made a foe. 

— Tennyson. 



72 



Old friends are the great blessing of one's 
later years. Half a word conveys one's 
meaning. They have a memory of the same 
events, and have the same mode of thinking. 
I have young relations that may grow upon me, 
for my nature is affectionate, but can they 

grow old friends ? 

— Horace Walpole. 



riends are like melons ; shall I tell you why ? 

To find one good you must a hundred try. 

— Claude Mermet. 



T^he only true and firm friendship is that 
between man and woman, because it is 
the only affection exempt from actual or possi- 
ble rivalry. 

— A. Comte. 



73 



<^~\ eople who have warm friends are health- 

J^ ier and happier than those who have 

none. A single real friend is a treasure worth 

more than gold or precious stones. Money can 

buy many things, good and evil. All the wealth 

of the world could not buy you a friend or pay 

you for the loss of one. 

— Unknown. 



T^he ideal of friendship is to feel as one while 

remaining two. 

— Madame Swetchine. 



'"To act the part of a true friend requires more 

conscientious feeling than to fill with 

credit and complacency any other station or 

capacity in social life. 

— Sarah Ellis. 



74 



If one have any oro sodo about one at all, 
either mental or moral, one never counts 
what shreds of the good metal one drops along 
the roads. If others pick it up, let them. To 
be of ever so little use is all one can hope for 

in this world. 

— Ouida. 



A friend that you have to buy won't be 

worth what you pay for him, no matter 

what that may be. 

— George D. Prentice. 



HTo practice a deception is almost to commit 

a crime. The flow of kindness thus driven 

back is withdrawn from others whom it might 

have benefitted. 

— Carmen Sylva. 



75 



I SAID friendship is the greatest bond in 
the world, and I had reason for it, for 
it is all the bands that this world hath; and 
there is no society and there is no relation that 
is worthy, but it is made so by the communica- 
tions of friendship, and by partaking some of 
its excellencies. For friendship is a tran- 
scendent, and signifies as much as unity can 
mean, and every consent, and every pleasure, 
and every benefit, and every society is the 
mother or the daughter of friendship. Some 
friendships are made by nature, some by con- 
tact, some by interest, and some by souls. 

— Jeremy Taylor. 



Tt is only friendship that keeps me alive; and 

it is friendship that will kill me. 

— Fenelon. 



76 



Che new joy in a new friendship is a joy 
that could not have been known in an 
earlier friendship. Yet the old made ready for 
the new. If the new friendship be in the line 
of true growth and true progress, it is a gain 
to the friend and to all his friends. It needs 
no apology, it provokes no challenge, in view 
of the highest claims of all pre-existing friend- 
ships. It advantages them all by its added 
benefits. Yet it is a new joy: a joy unspeakable, 
and full of blessing; a joy both new and old. 

— Unknown. 



Tn friendship lies the joy superlative, 

And nearest Heaven. We touch God's 

hand whene'er 

We clasp a friend's. 

— Olive T. Dargan. 

L OF C. 



77 



O hough the seasons of man full of losses 
Make empty the years full of youth, 
If but one thing be constant in crosses, 

Change lays not her hand upon truth ; 
Hopes die, and their tombs are for token 
That the grief as the joy of them ends, 
Ere time that breaks all men has broken 

The faith between friends. 

— SzL'inburne. 



78 



DEFINITIONS OF "A FRIEND' 



London Tit-Bits offered a prize for the best expla- 
nation of the meaning of the words "A Friend." The 
winning definition is given first, folloived by some of 
the best of the others submitted. 



o 



HE FIRST PERSON WHO COMES IN WHEN 
THE WHOLE WORLD HAS GONE OUT. 



A bank of credit on which we can draw supplies 
of confidence, counsel, sympathy, help and 
love. 

One who combines for you alike the pleasures 
and benefits of society and solitude. 

A jewel whose lustre the strong acids of pov- 
erty and misfortune cannot dim. 

One who multiplies joys, divides griefs, and 
whose honesty is inviolable. 

The Triple Alliance of the three great powers, 
Love, Sympathy, and Help. 

One 



79 



One who loves the truth and you, and will tell 
the truth in spite of you. 

A permanent fortification when one's affairs 
are in a state of siege. 

A watch which beats true for all time, and 
never "runs down." 

A balancing pole to him who walks across the 
tightrope of life. 

The link in life's long chain that bears the 
greatest strain. 

One who to himself is true, and therefore must 
be so to you. 

A harbor of refuge from the stormy waves of 
adversity. 

One who considers my need before my deserv- 
ings. 

The 



80 



The jewel that shines brightest in the darkness. 

A stimulant to the nobler side of our nature. 

One truer to me than I am to myself. 

A star of hope in the cloud of adversity. 

A diamond in the ring of acquaintance. 

Friendship, one soul in two bodies. 

A volume of sympathy bound in cloth. 

An insurance against misanthropy. 

A link of gold in the chain of life. 

One who understands our silence. 

The essence of pure devotion. 

The sunshine of calamity. 

A second right hand. 



81 



RONDEAU 
TO W. M. H. 



S3 



HAT makes a friend ? The heart that glows 
With changeless love in Arctic snows, 



Nor fails to cheer 'mid desert sand? 
This plainer speaks than clasp of hand: 
Hands may be firmly clasped by foes. 

How quickly liking often grows, 

Before the speech we understand! 
By gleam of eye one often knows 
What makes a friend. 



A thing far frailer than a rose 

Turns sudden strong as iron band: 
The world again is newly planned; 
Upon the soul there comes repose; 
But, ah, no words can quite disclose 
What makes a friend! 

— Volney Streamer. 
October 12, 1892. 



82 



If words came as ready as ideas, and ideas 
as feelings, I could say ten hundred 
kind things. You know not my supreme hap- 
piness at having one on earth whom I can call 

friend. 

— Lamb. 



83 



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